Eve: Everything I write for our about page sounds horrible. Like a person I’d want to punch.

Beth: What format are we doing?

Eve: Like, words? Am I being stupid and missing what you mean?
This can’t be true, right???

Beth: Like, little bios for each of us?

Eve: Susan Sarandon with a 36 year old?

Beth: Or a mission statement?

Eve: I was just trying a mission statement. I figure there are bios of us all over the place we can link to.

Beth: She owns a ping pong bar. It’s true.
What do you have for a mission statement so far?

Eve: Everything is awful. Makes us sound like pricks and or [REDACTED]

Beth: OMG, we should post this chat as our mission statement. THIS. We want to turn our daily IM chats into a website.

And just omit where you just talked shit about [REDACTED]

Eve: ha ha I guess? Or maybe we just put [REDACTED] where their name was.

Beth: We should post this with redactions and spelling corrections. And end with: WE ARE NOT PRICKS. RELAX. It’s a slow news day.

Eve: YES. Awesome. Done.