Are we being too mean to Gwyneth Paltrow? She certainly thinks so, even when Gwyneth insists on making it impossible to like her with the shit that gets posted on her lifestyle newsletter, GOOP. And I really want to like Gwyneth Paltrow. I am an aspirational 36-year old heterosexual American woman. I am basically Gwyneth Paltrow’s target market. I have used sage to cleanse my house. My therapist’s office is in the Marina. I occasionally will eat kale to live longer. I should be ALL OVER GP.
The latest GOOP is about talking nice to water. Seriously. When you put nice phrases on vials of water, the water looks better under a microscope. As if water could read English. Everyone knows water speaks French.
Anyway, via the comments of blogs about Gwyneth, I found this post about her mother, the famous and fabulous prescription medicine commercial actress Blythe Danner, defending her daughter; “I feel she’s just extraordinarily accomplished in every area and people don’t like that, some people don’t like that, people who are bored and sit on their asses all day and just tap away. I mean I don’t read any of it, I just find it so disgusting. There is a coarsening of our culture today that is just so tragic.”
OMG, I am sitting right now. I am tapping away. Blythe Danner thinks I am disgusting. In all seriousness, this has given me pause.
Sometimes, people leave really mean comments about me on the internet. And my mother takes that shit HARD. I mean, she gets pissed. And after years of reading all kinds of nonsense about my body, my boyfriend, my family, and my lack of talent (that one always comes last when people criticize talent. They start with your ass), not a lot gets under my skin. But I know my mother would totally think, “…she’s just extraordinarily accomplished in every area and people don’t like that, some people don’t like that, people who are bored and sit on their asses all day and just tap away. I mean I don’t read any of it, I just find it so disgusting.”
I just went to Goop and the first thing there is these $89 sandals. “We’re big fans of these artisan-crafted Guatemalan huaraches, and the fact Ix partners with non-profits to bring clean drinking water to children.”
Why is this so annoying? It IS, but why?
Are we being too hard on Gwyneth Paltrow because she is wealthy, blonde, and got an Oscar in a pink dress for what was really just an amazing script? Are we mean to Gwyneth because she dated all the hottest movie stars and seems content to eat healthy shit we can neither afford nor know about? Do we hate Gwyneth because she’s using her resources to live a weird, fancy life of her choosing, and then share it with us? We don’t HAVE to read GOOP. Well I do, so I know what I’m missing, and how much I’m not doing pilates or wearing $300 tank tops.
But if we hate GOOP, we don’t have read it. Right? Wrong? Help!