Is this 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After or a presidential debate? Mohamed is asked some pretty philosophical questions about American immigration. But first, he must hang out with his friend from Walmart and discuss intimate details of his marriage, separation, and divorce/annulment. According to Mo, Danielle tried to LOCK HIM IN THE BEDROOM. She […]
90 Day Fiance: Danielle Finally Comes Clean
Fucking finally. Danielle Mullins Jbali Mullins revealed without any hint of self-awareness that the reason she is asking for an annulment from her marriage to Mohamed is to scare him into coming back and working on their relationship. For Danielle, true Jbali love is still a Jbossibility. As I’m sure you know, this is how […]
Mohamed + Luisa + Danielle + Gabriel = PERFECTION
But first, your friendly reminder that I am recapping the new season of 90 Day Fiance for Previously TV. Read it ALL over there and tell them how much you love me. Thnx. Okay, we need to talk about Danielle and Mohamed and Gabriel and Luisa. And you might need to go first because I […]
“Does Mohamed Work Here?” Never Heard Of Him
90 Day Friends, I’ve missed you! Eve and I are so grateful that so many of you have asked for some legit (offensive) television recaps. Since you people refuse to pay us, however, we’ve gone to someone who can. You can check out Eve’s recaps of LOADS of shows (including “60 Days In”) on Previously.TV […]
Is Married at First Sight the world’s most cringe-worthy show? Discuss.
As I sat down with a giant iced coffee at 9pm and tuned into Bravo, I wondered where I would be without Andy Cohen. That man brings me so much joy/drama, and I credit him with the ripple effect his programming has had on television. Without Bravo’s pioneering efforts in ridiculous reality shows, would we […]
Public Service Announcement: Press-on nails are amazing
As a big fan of the mani-pedi, I haven’t gotten fake nails since a terrifying foray into “gel tips” as a dorky teenager. I proudly maintain healthy, natural and classic fingers and toes – finances permitting. But sometimes, I have neither the time not an extra $50 to blow on nonsense nails. So I’m standing […]
10 interesting things about Mohamed’s bedroom
Former 90 Day Fiance star and husband of Danielle Mullins Jbali, Mohamed Jbali posted a photo of himself lounging in his obviously-staged-for-the-occasion bedroom, with the caption, “Relaxing in my beautiful room (smiley face, heart, smiley face.)” There are so many things going on this this photograph, I need to list them numerically: 1. Um, who […]
LeeAnne’s demo reel features actual acting but no “killing”
Psst, hey you! You that secretly watched “The Real Housewives of Dallas” on Bravo because they won’t bring back “The Real Housewives of Melbourne.” I’ve been keeping this dark, twisted secret as well, but I’ve stumbled upon something too glorious not to share with my fellow closeted RHOD spectators. Sometimes I google “LeeAnne Locken” because […]
The roller coaster of Danielle and Mohamed, as documented by the police
Some genius compiled the complete list of a year in the life of Mullins-Jbali Police Reports. Here’s the Smithsonian-worthy compilation. As a Pride-weekend present, the ladies of Slow News Day have pulled for you our favorite lines from all of the reports from all of the times Mohamed called the Sandusky, Ohio police department: “Faith, […]
60 Days In, Everyone Out
You guys, I dropped the “60 Days In” ball. I got sidetracked working on articles that I actually get paid for. FORGIVE ME. I missed a couple of recaps of 60DI but they were the boring light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel episodes where all of our fake prisoners got out of jail. Tonight is the real show-down, where the […]