90 Day Friends, I’ve missed you! Eve and I are so grateful that so many of you have asked for some legit (offensive) television recaps. Since you people refuse to pay us, however, we’ve gone to someone who can. You can check out Eve’s recaps of LOADS of shows (including “60 Days In”) on Previously.TV […]
Is Married at First Sight the world’s most cringe-worthy show? Discuss.
As I sat down with a giant iced coffee at 9pm and tuned into Bravo, I wondered where I would be without Andy Cohen. That man brings me so much joy/drama, and I credit him with the ripple effect his programming has had on television. Without Bravo’s pioneering efforts in ridiculous reality shows, would we […]
Public Service Announcement: Press-on nails are amazing
As a big fan of the mani-pedi, I haven’t gotten fake nails since a terrifying foray into “gel tips” as a dorky teenager. I proudly maintain healthy, natural and classic fingers and toes – finances permitting. But sometimes, I have neither the time not an extra $50 to blow on nonsense nails. So I’m standing […]
10 interesting things about Mohamed’s bedroom
Former 90 Day Fiance star and husband of Danielle Mullins Jbali, Mohamed Jbali posted a photo of himself lounging in his obviously-staged-for-the-occasion bedroom, with the caption, “Relaxing in my beautiful room (smiley face, heart, smiley face.)” There are so many things going on this this photograph, I need to list them numerically: 1. Um, who […]
LeeAnne’s demo reel features actual acting but no “killing”
Psst, hey you! You that secretly watched “The Real Housewives of Dallas” on Bravo because they won’t bring back “The Real Housewives of Melbourne.” I’ve been keeping this dark, twisted secret as well, but I’ve stumbled upon something too glorious not to share with my fellow closeted RHOD spectators. Sometimes I google “LeeAnne Locken” because […]
The roller coaster of Danielle and Mohamed, as documented by the police
Some genius compiled the complete list of a year in the life of Mullins-Jbali Police Reports. Here’s the Smithsonian-worthy compilation. As a Pride-weekend present, the ladies of Slow News Day have pulled for you our favorite lines from all of the reports from all of the times Mohamed called the Sandusky, Ohio police department: “Faith, […]
60 Days In, Everyone Out
You guys, I dropped the “60 Days In” ball. I got sidetracked working on articles that I actually get paid for. FORGIVE ME. I missed a couple of recaps of 60DI but they were the boring light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel episodes where all of our fake prisoners got out of jail. Tonight is the real show-down, where the […]
60 Days In: Robert’s poop diagnosis
With only a week to go in their eight week stay, only five fake inmates remain – although Tami is about to require her own padded cell. But we’ll start with the boys because they’re the most boring. After his highly publicized smoking of coffee, Isaiah gets a much needed visit from his mom, and […]
Safeway Monopoly is the best thing to happen in 2016
Every time the Safeway checker asks the person in front of me if they play Monopoly and they say no, I consider shouting, “I’ll take their tickets!” But the last shred of human dignity I’m holding on to stops me, and I simply take the tickets I earn. Because Safeway Monopoly is thrilling. To those […]
60 Days In: Scandal Rocks the Art World
On this week’s 60 Days In, a piece of printer paper with crayon hearts on it transformed Babar into one of those people who supports Kim Davis. Here’s what happened in the biggest scandal to hit the art world since Van Gogh chopped off his ear: Maryum passes her jail time by drawing pictures for […]