Anyone who’s trudged around a suburban mall and hasn’t ended up contemplating their own mortality isn’t anyone I want to spend time with. If Forever 21’s big window display featuring their “Nirvana throwback crop top” doesn’t make you want to die just a little bit, it’s unlikely we have much to discuss.
So maybe I shouldn’t have batted an eye when I read that LA’s Forest Lawn “has been quietly putting movable kiosks in several of the malls that dot Southern California’s suburbs.” After all, we’re all going to die one day unless science gets on the freakin’ ball and fixes that shit. The mall is where you buy things. Sure, it makes intellectual sense.
And yet, like the great Fred Sanford, I feel deeply uncomfortable with this retail strategy! I don’t want to look up from sniffing a Yankee Candle to be reminded that soon, it’ll take a lot more than that to keep me from stinking up the joint.
“Who really wants to enter a funeral home even one day before they have to?” the Associated Press asks.
Well, now that there’s a coffin kiosk between Cinnabon and Foot Locker, I guess you won’t have to.