The Truman Medical Center in Independence, Missouri (wow, that state is hard to spell) is diagnosing patients with all sorts of diseases and drug problems they totally don’t have and needless to say, all hell is breaking lose.
A 62-year old grandmother tested positive for meth, which she does not do even though she lives in Missouri. Grandma is up in arms because she ain’t never done no drugs and the hospital won’t remove the meth from her medical records. Instead, they’ve offered to “add a note.”
Add a note?!?! Gee, thanks. “Beth is a homicidal sociopath. Oh wait, no she’s not really.”
According to local news station KCTV, this hospital diagnoses folks with all sorts of judgement-centric problems. Apparently, a couple’s STD test came back with a false positive for the chlamydia. Can you imagine getting THOSE results? Who gave it to who? “It wasn’t ME, you cheating whore! I knew you were trash!” “Well, maybe you got it from your mother, you piece of sh… Oh, wrong results?”
I wonder if they’ll get a note too?
Which is a worse false positive? Meth or the clap? I vote for meth because of the dental implications. I think you can hide the clap. I WOULDN’T KNOW.