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Slow News Day

Basking In The Trivial

“Important” Movies That We’ve Never Seen (And Probably Never Will)

April 14, 2014 By Eve Batey 12 Comments

While I miss certain things about my 20s (my ass from back then, my ignorance of what horrors the future held, how there was no Facebook), I’m generally far happier and healthier, and definitely more secure these days. One of the biggest things that has changed since I grew up (if what you can call my condition now is “grownup,” which, I dunno) is that I no longer feel compelled to appear like I’m on top of/familiar with/appreciative of so many movies that I really do not give A. Shit. About.

I love movies! I’m even fairly knowledgeable about them. But in my younger days, I found myself in the worst position, as I was an intellectually insecure person (as we perhaps all were when we were 22?) but a stubborn lazy one. So while everyone else talked about how fucking AMAZING the symbolism was while watching Rubin and Ed (is it REALLY?) I snuck outside to my 92 Geo Metro and read a book to avoid watching it and pretending like I appreciated The Cinema.

These days, I’m cool with the fact that there are a lot of movies that “YOU MUST” see that I haven’t — and that I probably never will. Go ahead, tell me how I’m a crappy intellectual lightweight for not seeing them, I’m cool with that! I’m forty fucking two.

I’ll bet there are some “essential” movies you haven’t seen either. Out yourself. It feels good.

Here are a few of mine and Beth’s:

Neither of us have never seen Gremlins, which Beth says her boyfriend “can’t believe.” Maybe we just missed the window? Just listening to the small amount of trailer that played as I grabbed the embed code irritated me.

Beth has “never seen ANY James Bond movie.”

I’ve never seen Gone With The Wind. Get this: I even had a GWTW poster when I was in middle school, and I acted like I’d seen it! WTF middle school Eve.

Beth told me yesterday that she’s never seen Die Hard, which explains why she hasn’t gotten, like, 70% of the jokes I make on the regular.

I’ve never seen Casablanca. But I’ve found time to see all the Transporter movies a jillion times, and own them on DVD. UNREPENTANT.

“I do not need to see Return of the Jedi. I’m 36.” — Beth

I get all your references (Fredo, boat, ring, kiss, etc) but I’ve never seen any of the Godfather movies. I’m good, thanks.

Beth’s never seen Rocky.

And I’ve never seen Rudy, which is weird because 1) I love inspirational sports movies, 2) am from Indiana (where it was set).

I know, you’re shocked. Here we are, two urbane, well-educated women bragging about how willfully ignorant we are about Great Moments In The Movies! You must be so upset. But. I know there are “significant” movies that you haven’t seen, either. Come to the dark side (Beth, I’ll explain that to you later). Confess.

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Filed Under: Movies Tagged With: Casablanca, Die Hard, Gone With The Wind, Gremlins, James Bond, Return of the Jedi, Rocky, Rudy, The Godfather

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