Why am I on Target.com searching for “holiday” at 11pm on a Tuesday in September? IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
You should be thanking me anyway because Target is selling a gold upside-down Christmas tree for $894.05.
I’ll wait while you read that sentence again.
Target is selling a gold upside-down Christmas tree for $894.05.
I figured this must be some artsy fartsy thing that like, Karl Lagerfeld pitched to Target and they went for it because you don’t tell Karl no. But I was wrong.
“This 7′ Pre-Lit Upsidedown Gold Glitter Tree was originally designed to display delicate ornaments while using a minimum amount of floor space in specialty stores. In addition to being an instant focal point and conversation piece, this tree gives you a smaller footprint, allowing more room for gifts underneath. The tapered shape allows it to be placed in spots that usually wouldn’t accommodate a traditional holiday tree, such as between 2 chairs. This indoor tree comes with a tree stand and is adorned with 600 clear lights. It has a mixture of long-needle, bottle-brush tips and traditional PVC tips that are accented with sparkling gold glitter.”
Whomever wrote this copy with a straight face has my sympathies.
It fits great between two chairs. It leaves “a small footprint” so more room for presents. It will terrify sane family and friends. I mean, honestly. I love weird shit. I love bizarre items, especially bizarre Target items. But… YOU GUYS. What is this? Who approved this? And are they okay?
Additionally, why is it $900? It’d not made of real gold (I checked.) And while it’s pre-lit, it’s… it’s… this whole thing is fucking ridiculous. As there are no reviews on Target.com for this item yet, (it is, after all, only September) I have no idea the type of insane Texan hundred-thousand-dollaraire who would buy such a concept.
How has Sarah Palin not commented yet? Where is the Tea Party on this?
Crazy upside down Christmas tree also comes in Champagne, and is $399.