Slow News Day

Basking In The Trivial

Juror Updates Facebook With “Being On A Jury Is Boring.” Duh.

By 4 Comments

Here’s a little story about a juror on a murder trial who kept updating his Facebook FROM THE JURY ROOM about how boring jury duty is.

“This is interesting and also boring — at Macomb County Circuit Court.”

Many of us (usually me) are guilty (ha!) of over-posting on social media. So I will not cast a stone at this dum-dum who posted on Facebook about being on a jury while serving on a jury. Not everyone watches as much Law & Order as I do and thus, knows the law inside and out. You can’t tweet, “We’re probs going to find OJ guilty because, hello? Obviously #ripnicole”

I mean, you COULD. But then OJ might get away with…. never mind.

Jury Duty, starring Pauly Shore! (image: YouTube)

Jury Duty, starring Pauly Shore! (image: YouTube)

ANYWAY, my issue here is that this goober thought jury duty would be exciting. No matter how interesting the case, trials get boring pretty quickly. Last year, I was called for jury duty and like any functioning human, was able to get out of it. But a few weeks later, I found myself at the Hall of Justice and happened by the courtroom for exact case for which I was originally called. So I sat in the back of a rape trail and can report these two things:

1. I was totally biased just looking at the defendant. I should not be on a jury.

2. I happened into court at the precise moment when they were showing physical evidence of rape on a huge screen in a darkened court room. And after 20 minutes of being really upset and alarmed by the testimony, I got bored.

Long story short; everything is better on TV, especially justice.

Your jury duty stories in the comments, please!

  • Paul Hogarth

    I once got called for jury duty in a sexual harassment case, but didn’t get picked. A real shame, frankly. The plaintiff was male, and said that his female supervisor had sexually harassed him.

    I thought I could objectively judge this case, but as I sat in the courtroom while other jurors were being questioned, I looked at the plaintiff and was like “DAMN! He is hot!” And the company he was suing sent their HR representative to be there for them, and he looked evil. He even had one of those Satan-like goatees. I would totally rule in favor of the Plaintiff, and then ask him out.

    So yeah, it’s a good thing I didn’t get picked for that jury.

  • Jon

    I did two and a half days in Santa Clara county. Didn’t get picked. But one woman who did suddenly lost the ability to speak English like Sammy Sosa testifying before Congress, and the judge was NOT HAVING IT. She had the Judge Judy accent as she grilled this woman: “Did you go to high school in this country? Yes. Did you graduate? yes. Did you go to college in this country? Yes. Did you graduate? Yes. What was the predominate language in which you were instructed? English? What do you do? Radiology technician? What is the predominate language spoken at work? English? I think your English will be good enough for this trial.” And you could see in the judge’s face, “F me with this no abla Inglis bullshit.”

    Best part of the trial.

  • James

    Beth, you should totally move to NY. I get called for jury duty the minute my exemption from the last time I served ends (sometimes earlier). So far, medical malpractice (plastic surgery gone bad), attempted murder (stabbing), murder (drug dealer shot at point blank range), and the pinnacle of jury duty, a grand jury. On the grand jury, we considered vehicular homicide (drunk driver), too many drug deals to keep track of, assault (accused’s actual words: “if you heard what he said about my mother, you would have broken his arm with a baseball bat also”), running a check forgery ring for 3 years that stole millions, and the crowning case: a bartender accused of criminal negligence because he set a patron on fire by spraying her with flaming Bacardi 151. The murder trial I sat through was presided over by the author of this book:
    http://amzn.com/0446530204
    (And yes, she was a total hard-ass.)

  • Beth Spotswood

    All of these comments made my week. THANK YOU!