I did a recent post on Slow News Day about the Second Season of “House of Cards”, which I found shockingly bizarre. What I failed to mention in that post is that I use House of Cards as one of my many celebrity height barometers, because I have met one of the stars of the show.
At 5’11”, I am a very tall woman and have an Oprah’s audience worth of issues around it. I’ve been this tall since I was 12, and I fucking hate it. As a result, I am oddly obsessed with celebrity height, and figuring out exactly how tall the stars of stage and screen are in real life. Due to life’s odd twists and turns, I’ve met several celebrities and instantly visually measured them. I then use the entire body of their professional work to measure their costars, which I then compile into my mental database of celebrity height.
Robin Wright is one of the stars of House of Cards, and I met her several years ago in the back room of San Francisco’s Tosca. She was there with Sean Penn, who did not speak to me. But I definitely spoke to Princess Buttercup, for like 10 minutes, and she is teeny tiny. She is also a very lovely person who asked me questions about myself, but who fucking cares. My height diagnosis of Jen-Nay is a very slight 5’4″.
As someone pointed out to me, watching House of Cards, Wright looks like an Amazon woman. Since I have first-hand knowledge of her shortness, this leads me to believe that her co-star, Kevin Spacey is also pretty short. Even though Wright often wears massive heels with her perfect ensembles, she’s still just a bit shorter than Spacey. I will give Kevin Spacey a 5’9″.
And now, a list of other celebrities I’ve met and my approximations of their height:
Clive Owen: 6′
Benjamin Bratt: 6’1″
James Caan: 5’9″
Robert Duvall: 5’9″
Patricia Clarkson: 5’3″
Mario Lopez: 5’9″
Sean Penn: 5’8″
Jeanne Tripplehorn: 5’8″
Mark Ruffalo: 5’9″
Sidney Poitier: 6’1″
Philip Seymour Hoffman (RIP): 5’9″ (as reported by my mother, who was in an elevator with him in New York and told him she loved him.)
I’d add more celebrities to the list as I remember/meet them. Please give me your celeb height encounters in the comments.
Related: I’ve seen Sean Penn twice, once at Tosca standing around being serious, and once at a restaurant where I can report that he STOOD when a woman came to the table. He’s one of those guys, the guys who stand for a lady, so say what you want about Sean Penn but that is some classy shit.