Either “Little Women:LA“, a Lifetime Channel reality show about a group of little people with big personalities is a profound and brilliant commentary on the ridiculousness of women-based reality fight shows. Or we’re all going to hell.
Either way, I am watching the SHIT out of Little Women: LA.
Basically, LWLA is a Real housewives-style show in which a group of six lady friends talk shit about each other behind backs, create problems out of nothing, and arrange to fight over glasses of mid-level white wine in outdoor restaurants. We’ve all seen this before, and we all watch the regularly because hello? We’re humans with cable. But LWLA has a twist: all of the cast members have Dwarfism.
America, you’ve done it again!
Watching this show, I have two overwhelming feelings. The first is a concern that reality shows have gone too far, even for me, but that maybe that’s the point of the show. It’s like the end of “American Sweethearts” where the director’s goal was to get the audience to really look at themselves. Is this what we’ve come to? Hiring people with a matching visible medical condition to befriend and then fight amongst themselves so we can have something to watch while we eat Whole Foods brownie bites? Or maybe we’re supposed to get so engrossed in the day-to-day lives of these women that we forget they’re little people and realize they’re just like everyone else. Is this misrepresentation of appropriate female behavior a reverse commentary on feminism, or a global disaster? Maybe LWLA is tool in which artists on camera help us to better understand the human condition, and perhaps that our condition it’s deteriorating into the depths of depravity.
My second feeling is that Terra is working my last nerve.
Let’s break down the cast:
Terra: Terra is the group’s leader and prides herself on keeping shit real and pretending not to know that she’s starting huge fights. Terra is like that camp counselor you had who was very intimidating because talked a lot with her hands about how she doesn’t give a shit about anything OKAY? Terra is the kind of person who “raises the roof” to show approval. She also has asymmetrical hair and an on-again/off-again boyfriend about whom she does not obsess because Terra is focused on her career as a little person celebrity impersonator. She is offended by the word “midget.”
Christy: Christy is apparently 4-years sober, so I really want to like her. Unfortunately, Christy is also the worst person ever. Christy has basically forced her boyfriend in proposing, shows up at his guys-only golf games, and has no problem telling you when you look like shit in that outfit. Christy is one of those people that’s in your larger circle of friends but no one really likes her. She’s just wormed her way in, and now we have to invite Christy. Ugh.
Elena: Elena is the hot Russian little person, and the only totally normal person on LWLA. Elena, for having been raised by Russians who has no idea how to deal with a dwarf and kept her in bed for two years, turned out to have, as my mother would say, her head screwed on right. Elena is the voice of reason. She is also married to a very tall African American man, with whom she hopes to have children. And she is fine with the word midget. That’s why people hire her to dress us as a little Lady Gaga. Duh. All of the other women seem shocked by this. Also, Terra organized a photo shoot and didn’t inviter Elena because she’s too hot. Elena felt left out, but was like, “Whatever.” Then of course at the last minute, Terra needed Elena, so she showed up to the photo shoot. Because Elena is gorgeous and ALSO COOL, the photographer focused on her. This pissed off Terra. Elena is damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t. She’s just too hot.
Traci: Traci is very modest and comparatively boring. She is about the getting married and is pissed that Christy is stealing her wedding thunder. Just let Traci have this! She literally has nothing else! She’s really boring! Traci just asked Terra to be her maid-of honor. Terra raised the roof in response.
Briana: Briana (last name: Manson) is also boring. She is going through a divorce and is ready to start playing the field again, so she threw herself a divorce party and invited a lot of dudes. A penis cake was involved, there was a hot tub argument about political correctness, and Briana’s “date” hit on another little person’s normal-sized daughter. You would have given anything to be at this divorce party.
Tonya: Tonya is mother to the boyfriend stealing, normal-sized daughter. Tonya is also a celebrity impersonator and stunt woman who is offended by the thought that she might be hired solely because of her stature. As the oldest, one hopes Tonya would bring some wisdom to the LWLA proceedings, but that is not to be. She pops in and out of the drama, but unlike Elena, offers no substantive comments at all.
Are you watching? Do you want to come over, watch with me, and have themed-snacks?