We’ve all been there, right? In the throes of passion SO STRONG that you have to drop whatever it is you’re doing and tell your beloved that your desire overwhelms you. I mean, what are you, dead inside? Maybe that’s why 47-year-old Seattle anesthesiologist Dr. Arthur K. Zilberstein allegedly felt compelled to text a woman he’d been seeing MULTIPLE TIMES DURING SURGERIES HE WAS PROVIDING ANESTHESIA FOR with “a description of his immediate sexual desire for her.”
According to the Washington Post, Zilberstein reportedly made a habit of sending these messages (almost 250 of them, which is probably more than my husband has texted me my entire marriage am I right ladies) during procedures including Cesarean deliveries, pediatric appendectomies, epidurals, tubal ligations, and cardiac-probe insertions. In other words, during seriously sexy medical moments that probably really got him going.
When he should have been watching to make sure some patient didn’t slip off into the great beyond, he was letting some chick know he wanted to slip it to her. Big time.
That’s why Washington’s Medical Quality Assurance Commission has suspended his license. That, and because he allegedly banged a patient he was treating AT THE HOSPITAL, and sent another woman a selfie of him “in scrubs, with his badge showing and his genitals exposed.”
Yeah, make sure to get that badge in there. Ladies love a doctor.
The Medical Quality Assurance Commission has a whole slew of other charges against Zilberstein, saying that he wrote unauthorized prescriptions for patients he didn’t evaluate, and that he said racist things about another patient. I mean, this guy sounds awesome, and makes every doctor I’ve ever been treated by sound like the dullest of duds. And that’s even before the best part of the report. I’m just going to paste it here for you:
Zilberstein also improperly accessed medical-record imaging for sexual gratification
OK, let’s unpack this: 1) is there a PROPER way to access medical-record imaging for sexual gratification? and 2) Are they saying he fucked someone in the MRI? Or is this tamer, like he photocopied someone’s butt?
Even beyond the medical-record imaging for sexual gratification mystery, we have questions. Like, how come no one told him to put his damn phone away when he was in the operating room? People lose their shit if you pull your phone out at the movies, are you telling me that the rules at the fucking Cinemark are laxer than that in the supposedly sterile environs of the operating theatre?
Oh, and speaking of sterile, how sterile is that phone? Is he changing his gloves every time he texts? Sure, he’s an anesthesiologist, it’s not like he’s grubbing around in your guts then playing Threes, but, still, I want everyone in there to have clean hands. How does all that work?
Finally, he allegedly sent 18 sexts during a Cesarean, one of them being “I’m hella busy with C sections.”
Dr. Arthur K. Zilberstein. You live in Seattle. You are a doctor. You are 47 years old. You are named “Dr. Arthur K. Zilberstein.” You should not, may not, can not use the word “hella.” No.