As I sat down with a giant iced coffee at 9pm and tuned into Bravo, I wondered where I would be without Andy Cohen. That man brings me so much joy/drama, and I credit him with the ripple effect his programming has had on television. Without Bravo’s pioneering efforts in ridiculous reality shows, would we […]
10 interesting things about Mohamed’s bedroom
Former 90 Day Fiance star and husband of Danielle Mullins Jbali, Mohamed Jbali posted a photo of himself lounging in his obviously-staged-for-the-occasion bedroom, with the caption, “Relaxing in my beautiful room (smiley face, heart, smiley face.)” There are so many things going on this this photograph, I need to list them numerically: 1. Um, who […]
LeeAnne’s demo reel features actual acting but no “killing”
Psst, hey you! You that secretly watched “The Real Housewives of Dallas” on Bravo because they won’t bring back “The Real Housewives of Melbourne.” I’ve been keeping this dark, twisted secret as well, but I’ve stumbled upon something too glorious not to share with my fellow closeted RHOD spectators. Sometimes I google “LeeAnne Locken” because […]
The roller coaster of Danielle and Mohamed, as documented by the police
Some genius compiled the complete list of a year in the life of Mullins-Jbali Police Reports. Here’s the Smithsonian-worthy compilation. As a Pride-weekend present, the ladies of Slow News Day have pulled for you our favorite lines from all of the reports from all of the times Mohamed called the Sandusky, Ohio police department: “Faith, […]
60 Days In, Everyone Out
You guys, I dropped the “60 Days In” ball. I got sidetracked working on articles that I actually get paid for. FORGIVE ME. I missed a couple of recaps of 60DI but they were the boring light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel episodes where all of our fake prisoners got out of jail. Tonight is the real show-down, where the […]
60 Days In: Robert’s poop diagnosis
With only a week to go in their eight week stay, only five fake inmates remain – although Tami is about to require her own padded cell. But we’ll start with the boys because they’re the most boring. After his highly publicized smoking of coffee, Isaiah gets a much needed visit from his mom, and […]
60 Days In: Tami takes the cake
Ruh roh. Tami is losing it. Of all of the people on Prison Island, she was the one I expected to handle jail the best. But Tami is the biggest drama queen in Pod F, stirring up shit when everyone else – even Boston! – is cool, calm, and collected. Here’s what happened: Babar’s bestie/leg […]
Married At First Sight: One Down
It’s decision day for David and Ashley, but first, let’s talk about the last grasps of desperation from Sam towards Neil because I find this fascinating. For weeks, Sam has been sending Cold War-era level mixed messages in codes that not even Benedict Cumberbatch could break (in that boring movie where he was a genius.) […]
Married at First Sight: Sam gets mean
The tables have completely turned in ragrds to how we feel about the couples on Married at First Sight (MAFS.) While I once thought Ashley was the worst, I now regard Sam’s behavior as unacceptable. Let us discuss: David and Ashley: By the time their wedding night and honeymoon rolled around, Ashley had loosened up […]
Love is dead. Mohamed and Danielle are no more.
We may have seen this coming, but for some reason, it is still a shock: Danielle and Mohamed are “splitting.” After months (nay, years) of reports of a miserable relationship and infidelity, it was a broken car and a $700 Go Fund Me page that spelled the official undoing of Sandusky, Ohio’s oddest couple. (Presumably. […]