Once they invented that thing on smartphone cameras that flips the viewer so it’s facing you, I hopped on board that selfie bandwagon like a bullied tween. If I do say so myself, I have mastered the art of deceptively flattering photos. So you can imagine my surprise to discover that folks were using apps that photoshop selfies to make themselves look even better than the posed, filtered, tilted, and appropriately cropped photos we’re all used to.
I paid $3.99 and downloaded Facetune immediately.
Perhaps I’m doing it wrong (likely) but this app is stupid. The only real improvement Facetune makes on photos is teeth-whitening, which while great, doesn’t keep me up at night. I have bigger aesthetic fish to fry than my reasonably decent and already expensive grill.
Here is me before and after Facetune. The before picture isn’t filtered, I’m only wearing tinted moisturizer, and I have used my soon-to-be-pattented face tilt method to make myself seem slimmer. In the after, I look like a clown on drugs.
Here is a before and after of SND-friend Brock, who’s after photos looks like he has mental health issues. To our knowledge, he does not.
Conclusion: You’re great the way you are.