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Basking In The Trivial

The ballad of Dani and Mo: Dr. Tom of Walmart gets involved

By 106 Comments

It’s taken 12 hours to get the sound of Danielle’s wailing out of the depths of my ear canals. I had to listen to the entire 46-song “Hamilton” soundtrack twice just to free my brain of her agonizing bawling.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Last week, Dani stormed out of pizza time because Mohamed wasn’t listening to her feelings. She still wanted to file for annulment, which would probably result in Mo getting sent back to Tunis, Tunisia. (I like saying Tunis, Tunisia.) As a result, Mo has summoned Dani and her car air freshener to his and Tom’s palatial farmhouse for a mediation. Tom, you see, not only hangs around Walmart making friends but he is also some sort of Sandusky, OH therapist.

Tom also keeps a dog in a teeny tiny cage placed next to a magnet-covered fridge. I’m no animal activist, but that cage situation seems pretty fucked up. Animal people, please explain.

So Dani and Mo quickly dissolve into screaming and yelling about the same old shit. Who ruined whose life? Who lied? Who wanted a green card? Tom comes and SITS IN BETWEEN THEM and offers some rational thoughts. Mo doesn’t want to hurt Dani, Dani doesn’t want to hurt Mo. So pull the annulment and file for divorce.

I agree with this. I know a bunch of you want Mohamed deported. Why? Who cares? Unless you are a Native American, your family immigrated to this country just like mine did. Getting a divorce allows Dani to stop obsessing about Mohamed every fucking day of her life and move on. An annulment is revenge-based. It’s about punishing Mohamed, and it will never ever make her feel better. You GUYS. Revenge doesn’t work they way you want it too. If there’s really a karmic imbalance, the universe will work it out. Trust.

Anyway, Dani agrees to “pull the annulment.” She even goes so far as to give Mohamed a ride to the courthouse so he can see this with his own eyes. And en route to the courthouse, Mohamed basically starts egging on Danielle. As my fiancé kept yelling at the television, “Oh my God, shut up. She’s doing what you want. Be nice to her!”

Even when they get to the courthouse, Mo asks where he should park and Dani is all sad voice, “I don’t know.” Mo gets mad, because all Dani ever says is “I don’t know.” This is true and it’s annoying. But STFU until that divorce get stamped, Mohamed. We are not allowed in the courthouse but apparently Dani “pulls” the annulment. She does not, however, file for divorce. Why file for divorce when you can drag this thing out for another two years?

Throughout the whole episode (which includes other couples that I do not care about), Danielle crumbles into a sea of tears and awkward sobs that require actual subtitles. Mohamed meets Dani for one last goodbye before he heads to Miami. It’s actually a pretty classy move on Mo’s part. He thanks her for pulling the annulment and says he’d like to be friends – the official “Don’t call me” send off of every failed relationship. Dani latches on to this. Friends! Yes! We’ll be friends and he’ll realize he’s in love with me! Mohamed simply requests that Dani stop all of her dramatic tactics and cries for help. She agrees through the shoulder section of her Old Navy fleece.

Mohamed departs the seventh layer of hell and this should be the end of things, right? Wrong!

According to previews, Dani immediately proceeds to call and text Mohamed relentlessly. She then gets in a tropical ensemble, gets on an airplane and flies to Miami. WHY DANIELLE? WHY? Imagine if you got fired from a job and kept showing up, demanding your old job back, harassing everyone at your old office, and calling the front desk non-stop. For years! This whole Jbali Jdrama has been doing on for literal years after Mohamed has explained that their marriage is over.

In next week’s preview, Mohamed threatens to get a restraining order. I honestly think that’s probably the right call at this point. Her harassment is abusive (in volume if not content) and thus worthy of a legal divorce. Any type of deportation proceedings will just look like exactly what they are – the desperate revenge tactics of an unwell woman. A court of law will tell Danielle to stay the hell away from Mohamed and release him into the lower 48 with best wishes and a bright green card.

I know you have shit to say, my 90 Day Friends. Don’t forget to read our recaps of the regular season of 90DF over on Previously.TV, and until next time, may all of your commercial breaks be brief.

  • MrSmith

    My desire to see Mohammed deported has nothing to do with what’s best for Danielle or Mohammed. I couldn’t give one flying rat’s ass about what’s in either of their best interests. My desire to see his ass shipped back to Tunisia is all about the fraud they *both* perpetrated in order to get him over here. Their relationship is and was fake as shit and she had no means to support him once he got here. The only reason he’s not on welfare already is because of the show (and also because they probably wouldn’t give it to him). There are people in legitimate relationships who’ve waited years to get here and these two game the system and get him here quickly with a fake relationship? Fuck Mohammed; ship his ass back to Tunisia in an unsanded pine crate two sizes too small. And introduce Danielle to the dubious comforts of prison; preferably not the minimum security, country club sort, either. Put her in federal “pound me in the ass” prison.

    And if you think Danielle isn’t going to obsess over Mohammed because they got a divorce instead of an annulment, you’re deluding yourself. And none of whatever Mohammed goes through in all of this engenders him being deserving of a divorce vice an annulment. Remember: HE BROUGHT ALL OF THIS ON HIMSELF. He didn’t have to marry this psycho. He chose to. Well, he made his bed and now he can lay in it. And that includes getting shipped the fuck back home to Tunisia.

    • mustangtanya

      I agree 100%. Danielle is going to obsess over him until he’s out of the country and then probably obsess some more. As for Mo, he has shown no promise of being a contributing member of society. He just freeloads off Danielle, Luisa and Wal-Mart Tom.

      • Buffo

        Oh yes, Mo was the ONE, and he broke her heart. Now she has someone to obsess about and blame forever for the shitfest which is her life.

        After watching that show, I had the urge to get a restraining order against her, because she’s only about 200 miles away from me and that is TOO CLOSE.

        • Carolinatarheel

          If she has a new man, why is she still stalking and threatening Mohammed? She is a pathetic excuse for a human being!

          She lied about all her debts and, after the electricity was turned off, he left. She hid her criminal background!

          She promised to just be friends, then continued to stalk and threaten him! She wants a puppet that she can control!

    • Buffo

      Good points. How in hell DID she get permission to bring him over, as deep in debt as she is and with her criminal record? Surely she had to show that she could support him financially, and I don’t see any evidence that she can even support herself. Was there perhaps some deceit involved?

      • abby

        For the financial part, she needed a cosponsor to bring him here because she did not meet the income requirements. It’s never been disclosed who the cosponsor is. As far as her criminal background, I don’t understand how she slipped through the cracks with her felony convictions. The sponsor is supposed to have a clean background when applying for the K-1 visa.

        • Buffo

          Aha. Sounds like maybe the cosponsor could have him crated and shipped back if they chose to.

          • abby

            I know the cosponsor is financially responsible if he receives any type of government assistance within the next 10 years. They will have to pay the government back out of their own pocket. I wonder what kind of a dumbass would cosponsor a guy like Mo.

          • Buffo

            I would be shocked if Dani knew anyone who had a job and a good income. Could the cosponsor be TLC?

          • CoachWristletJen

            I don’t think so because they would probably know better than to make an agreement that could leave them on the hook for upwards of $20-$30K over the next 10 years. Who knows? He might collect more.

            I also think that Dani’s going to be having more financial problems now that her own kids are aging out. She collected child support for all three of them. Also, one of them had a diagnosis of “selective mutism” and Dani collected $900 for her, on top of the child support. It will be hard to make ends meet without all of that money!

            I know waaaay too much about these people!

          • Buffo

            This is shocking! Is she going to have to actually GET A JOB???

          • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

            How do you know this? I wondered where she got her money from. Also, what were her crimes?

          • abby

            She has been convicted of Fraud, Theft, Credit Card Theft and Forgery. It’s all public record on the Norwalk Municipal Court website.

          • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

            Maybe. But Muslims run elaborate visa fraud schemes. He could have been sponsored by the Muslim community. This is a big problem for the US.

          • Buffo

            Whoa, dude. I am absolutely NOT buying into the “Muslims are evil” theme, and you won’t get much play for it here. Spew your racism somewhere else.

          • MrSmith

            Yeah, like Buffo said, take that garbage somewhere else.

          • CoachWristletJen

            Dani has put the cosponsor in a BAD position! If, any time during the next ten years, Mo decides he wants public assistance of ANY kind, any kind at all, food stamps for children he may have, welfare, etc., Dani will be on the hook for it, month after month! AND, Dani can just throw up her arms and not pay it, leaving the brunt of it or all of it to her poor sponsor, adding that person to the list of people she has ripped off.

            BTW, the crate needs to be large enough for him to stand up in, turn around in, and lie down in. Wire is preferable so he can look around. We are humane, after all!

          • MrSmith

            “We are humane, after all!”
            But moooooom, do we *have to*?

      • boomdeyay

        She must have falsified some of those documents along the way. She better hope Melania doesn’t watch this show. Because this would be a great circus sideshow deportation for the new POTUS

    • Susan Fields

      I am with you… This dumb troll Danielle took back the annulment application after goggle eyeing Mohammed at the restaurant, when he demanded a divorce rather than the annulment. He even had the audacity to tell her they will stay in contact….ha ha ha . Good old Mohammed is frolicking with beautiful ( in his eyes, comparing to Danielle) Miami beach bunnies and getting annoying calls from Danielle…Now he puts a restraining order on her ass. Does this poor soul really believed Mohammed gave her a second thought after she pulled the annulment application? Way to go Danielle, there is no help for an ignorant , naive and just plain delusional love struck older woman like you.

      • CoachWristletJen

        I thought The Walking Dead was grueling to watch this week, but it had nothing on Danielle’s walrus bellows. Make it stop!

        • Sebastian Cole

          Oh, shit. I can’t. This is the article that keeps on giving.

        • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

          lol – I know, she kills me. And that one w Azan isn’t far behind.

      • Buffo

        Problem is, certain aspects of this are not making sense. Mo has no grounds for a restraining order. Dani is his wife, and she is allowed to come to the city where he is. There is no documented history of threats or violence. The police would have laughed him out of the station.

        Also, Dani would have not found out his address by looking at a bank statement that looks like it came in the mail. If it was mailed to his address, she wouldn’t have it. And I don’t think one party on a joint account is allowed to change the account address without the other party’s consent. So no sale, TLC. Get better writers. And better actors.

        • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

          One person can change information on a joint account just as they can take money out of it. This is why having a joint account can be a big risk for people. She could have requested a duplicate copy of their statement mailed to her address.

          If Mo told the police she was attacking him (he said locking him in a closet.room) and he was afraid of her harming him he could get a returning order. She can’t be banned from Miami but can be banned from coming within a specific distance of him.

          • Buffo

            It’s restraining order, not returning order. And it takes more than Mo’s word. She has done nothing in Florida, and that’s all the Florida fuzz would care about.

          • abby

            The only document he really has is the police report from Sandusky when they we’re driving and she threw the car in reverse. He called the cops and said she tried cause him bodily harm or possibly kill him.

          • Buffo

            Well that would mean diddly to the Florida police. The Flo-po.

    • Be Da

      I agree. I cannot believe they thought anyone would give credit to their ”so-called” love story. Really!? Really!?

    • Happy

      “Federal pound me in the ass prison” — A thing of beauty! LOL!

      • MrSmith

        I can’t claim credit. That’s straight from Office Space. Still, I’m glad you found it funny!

        • Happy

          Love that movie, especially the mumbler! Can’t believe I didn’t memorize that wonderful line and use it! Thanks to you, MrSmith, I have more verbal weaponry in my arsenal.

  • Buffo

    I am an animal person, and I can explain. That was animal abuse. I was sickened and horrified.

    I live in Ohio (nowhere near the armpit that is Sandusky). The reason Dani did not file for divorce at the courthouse is that is not how divorce works, at least here. She is going to need to do this through a lawyer. There has to be a division of assets, such as they are, and debts, as huge as they are. There are papers to be drawn up, which are then filed with the court.

    I want Mo deported, and it has nothing to do with revenge. He was allowed to come here to marry Dani. That did not work out. So back he goes. Seems like common sense, and it will probably happen no matter what you, I or Dani want. I also want Dani deported, but that isn’t going to happen.

    How could they ever be friends? They have nothing in common and they don’t like each other, not even a little bit.

    The whole thing is cringeworthy.

    • MrSmith

      You know, I didn’t catch that crating incident. I’ve used cages for dogs before, but the dogs could always stand up and move around comfortably. If the dog couldn’t, then I got a bigger cage. And if there isn’t a big enough cage for the dog (like our Irish Wolfhound), then the dog doesn’t go in a cage.

      • snd fan

        I did notice the dog. At first I was horrified questioning how long that dog had been in there. Then I realized that dog is probably Walmart boy’s entire life. I assume he was in the kennel due to the crew/strangers being in the house.

        • MrSmith

          I think I’m going to have to recover this episode from our DVR’s history (thank you, TiVO!) and have a look at this again.

      • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

        Dogs are den animals and are calmed by crates – but like you said they have to bebop enough for them to stand up and move around it. I totally missed that in this episode.

        • MrSmith

          “bebop”? What does this even mean?

    • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

      Mo knows they have nothing in common and can’t be friends – bc he used this ugly ignorant woman to get a green card. Dani doesn’t realize it bc she thinks they were in love. Cringeworthy.

  • Buffo

    “Tom, you see, not only hangs around Walmart making friends but he is also some sort of Sandusky, OH therapist.”

    I hate Tom now, primarily for his abusive caging of his dog, but also for the trash in his yard, and oh yeah BECAUSE HE’S A DOUCHE. Tom is what happens when sloppy underachieving men live alone.

    He’s also a shit therapist, because his only technique is to bully Danielle into doing what Mo wants. Which causes Dani to run sobbing from the house.

    The resulting comical slow motion going-to-Dani’s-aid by Mo is beyond belief. Part of him knows she shouldn’t be driving but he doesn’t care, but the rest of him knows he’s on TV and he’s supposed to try to seem human. We get to watch him dragging his feet going outside, slooowwwly putting on his coat, hoping Snotty Shrek has already left, then pretending to care about her welfare. No, Mo, she shouldn’t be driving. Ever. Or voting. Or using a microwave, because she is too gorped out for any of those things. She also shouldn’t be marrying young men from foreign countries. Thanks for caring.

    • djc

      You’re right on point. I detest Danielle but Mohammed didn’t keep his end of the deal and should be deported. Even with that said, I’d be willing to keep him if we could just get Danielle deported. I doubt anyone would take her…

  • 1montrealaise3

    That is definitely animal abuse. Sometimes it’s necessary to keep a dog in a crate on a temporary basis, but the crate has to be large enough for the dog to stand up, turn around and lie down to sleep. That crate was much too small, and I hope a TLC crew member called the humane society.
    Telling Danielle he wanted to be friends was the worst thing Mo could have said to her. If someone has an obsessive crush on you, staying “friends” only fuels that person’s false hope that eventually you will realize that this person is really the Great Love Of Your Life. Anyone remember Ashley and Jared from Bachelor in Paradise (I know, I know, I watch way too much reality tv).

    • CoachWristletJen

      Yeah, I really hate the way that dog was caged, all hunched over like that. Probably he bought that cage when it was a puppy and was just too negligent to buy a new one. There’s NO EXCUSE FOR THAT!!!!!

      • 1montrealaise3

        If you buy a cage for a puppy you know is going to grow much bigger, you buy a large cage right from the start and then you don’t have to buy a new one when the dog is an adult.

  • sikofit

    I am still not understanding how he M is still in this country? Surely he is on someones caseload in immigration. Don’t they periodically check and do interviews? Or are their hands tied because they have to treat the marriage as viable legally unless there is legal divorce etc? Anyone know?

    • abby

      He did have an interview with immigration since the separation. Most likely, he told them he went into the marriage with good intentions, he tried to make it work, but it didn’t. In that case, that can’t really deport him. If she would have gone through with the annulment and it was granted based on fraud, that would have shown immigration he wasn’t here for the right reasons and he would have been sent back. That’s why he was pushing so hard for her to pull the annulment.

      • Buffo

        I don’t know that he will be allowed to stay in the US even if he does get the divorce. I would think he’d have to qualify on his own merits, as in having a good full-time job, health insurance, a place to live, savings, etc. I doubt living off women he meets online is going to impress the authorities.

        • abby

          True Buffo, all of those factors are important. He is working, he has his own place now, he hasn’t committed any crimes since arriving in the US. So there is a very good chance he is here to stay. Personally I think they should deport his ass. But he is slick and he knows exactly what it takes to keep his GC, starting with having the annulment dropped.

          • Buffo

            Well if he is productive and law-abiding I guess I’m okay with that.

          • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

            If he used fraud to get a green card he is by definition NOT law abiding.

          • Buffo

            Nearly impossible to prove fraud as far as intention. He may very well have thought it would work. Apprently Dani was not forthcoming in regard to her finances, arrest record, etc. pand gave him some nasty surprises. She’s a lot closer to being a fraudster than he is.

          • abby

            I think they both committed fraud and should he held responsible. But it’s very hard to prove when both parties are lying to immigration.

          • Buffo

            They are both liars, it’s true.

          • MrSmith

            This is, sadly, true.

          • Kathy

            According to his Facebook page he is an Uber driver in Miami. Living the dream, MoMo.

          • abby

            Actually, he has moved to Tampa and yes he is an Uber driver.

          • Kathy

            Oops! You are correct. He also now has his own motivational YouTube channel (oh, holy shit!) and he joined some “film society” to learn about acting and making films.

          • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

            Good grief.

          • Carolinatarheel

            If he is working, has his own place and hasn’t committed any crimes, then leave him alone!

      • sikofit

        Thanks Abbey. They used to do surprise home visits but that was quite a while ago. Now that I’m thinking about it I am guessing D wife cover for him anyway as not to lose him (in her mind only). But jeez, if it were me I would be terrified of this being in TV avg getting in trouble. Then again, she isn’t very bright. Thanks for the reply!

        • abby

          You’re welcome! I agree, alot of what we have seen him say and do on TV would be huge red flags for immigration. But when he mentioned being locked in the bedroom, Danielle blocking him from leaving, the cheating allegations against her, etc I think that’s his way of building a case against her and what better way to do that than on national TV?

      • Carolinatarheel

        Why would anyone agree to stay with this pathetic woman? Her moaning, sobbing voice is enough to drive someone mad!

    • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

      There are literally millions of people who need to be deported right now but aren’t being deported. He may get lost in the cracks of that over burdened system or the show may bring enough attention to him that he gets deported.

      • sikofit

        That’s true. As a retired Ohio PO, I know In Ohio there is a huge disconnect when it comes the justice system and immigration. When ICE gets notified of an illegal immigrant in jail but (can’t remember exact legal glitch) nothing happens.

  • CoachWristletJen

    As I understand it, filing for the annulment will only get Dani herself in trouble. Why? Because she defrauded the government to bring him over here. Also, they interviewed her they got married and Dani swore up and down that things were happy and affectionate and normal between them ~ and that was after she knew about the trips he was taking with other women. Who can blame him for wanting to be free from the tears for awhile? She can get fined or imprisoned or both for her part in this. As for Mo, the worst thing that can happen to him is that he can get deported. And, for that to happen, they would have to PROVE that he did not enter into the marriage with a sincere heart. Since they can’t look inside his heart, they don’t have much of a case. Dani should have acted on this a long time ago if she wanted him deported! At this point, she’ll just look like a vengeful woman which, in fact, she is.

    My husband is probably right when he says I know waaaay to much about all of this!

    As for Mo, he does have some kind of job down in Florida. I’m sure the reason he keeps it low key is because he doesn’t want to get harassed at work. And yes, if he did go on any kind of public assistance, Dani and her co-sponsor would be legally responsible for it. This liability impedes Dani in the process of applying to get a new hot young thing which is what she really wants to do next!

    I think Mo should stay if for no other reason than it will prevent her from snatching up another hot young foreigner and trapping him in her home for two years. She doesn’t deserve to have a husband until she can learn to quit acting like a gigantic naughty whinging child. The tears are something she’s cultivated to keep the focus where she wants it ~ on HER. The whole driving crazy thing was nothing more than a great big dangerous tantrum. For heaven’s sake, Dani, you’ve got children! How would you feel if they did that to you? Of course they are probably too mature with the exception of your little clone (who is still probably too young).

    Danielle, LET MO GO! Give him a divorce so he can stay in Florida! He might actually have a chance at being happy if he can do a better job of learning when not to speak. One of the funniest things was when he was trying to explain Dani’s irrational behavior in rational terms: “The way you act yesterday with all that crying and then being silent for like ten minutes.. I thought something was wrong with you. For me it’s crazy to act that way and to not deal with that.”

    For some reason it just cracks me up to think that he is still looking at every crazy thing she does, like, “Why you do that?”

    • MrSmith

      “I think Mo should stay if for no other reason than it will prevent her from snatching up another hot young foreigner and trapping him in her home for two years.”

      I can get behind this logic in letting Mohamed stay in the country. Damn you, Jen! Now I’m 50/50 (or maybe even 60/40) in favor of not having him deported! 🙂

    • Happy

      “Free from the tears” — I have NEVER seen an actual tear on Danihell’s face, despite myriad “crying” jags. Crocodile!

      Also, had he not dealt strongly with her in the car, she would have seized control of the situation with her usual m.o., pathetic (tearless) blubbering. She never has a tissue because THERE ARE NO TEARS!! He is now immune to the one trick pony’s crap and cut her ass off at the pass.

  • CoachWristletJen

    I do want to say something about those catty women who gave Loren such a hard time. Alexi had to go through a very hard process and move halfway across the world to be with Loren. If he had wanted any one of you, he would have just stayed home where it was easy. BUT HE DIDN’T WANT ANY ONE OF YOU! SO GET OVER IT! It’s so obvious that the really pushy girl who was doing all of the talking had some sort of a thing for him. Guess what! He didn’t pick you, honey! Loren is way prettier than you are on one of her bad hair days so you just need to get over yourself and quit taking it out on her! If you really care about the man, be nice to his wife!

    • MrSmith

      Oh. My. God. YES! My wife and I were commenting about how obvious it is that girl who started the topic is jealous of Loren and upset that she isn’t with Alexei. I don’t think she could have been more transparent. Her sidekick piled on only to support her friend, in my opinion, because she had less to say and seemed less passionate/emotional about it. Personally, I can’t imagine how all of these people who were supposedly such close friends of Alexei were unaware of him dating, getting engaged to, and planning to leave Israel to marry Loren. None of this would have been a fast process. So, if they’re such close friends of his when he lived there, they would have been in the loop as to what’s going on in his romantic life.

      • Be Da

        Yes and yes… Some people are so transparent it’s sad. I find a lot of these supposed friends of Alexei should be thrilled that he and Loren went to all this trouble and expense to travel to Israel with Loren’s parents to have a wedding that these ”friends” could attend. Instead, they are pouting like little babies… really people!?

        • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

          Maybe it’s some Israeli cultural thing? Idk, it was odd to me.

      • Happy

        I believe Alexei slept with pissed-off Polina. She was showing some massive thighs (see what you’re missing, Alexei) while sitting at the bar and giving Loren the stinkeye.

        Alexei should have manned up and defended Loren from the predatory broads, but he didn’t. Wonder if Loren suspects or knows about his pre-Loren dalliances? IMO, if she was meeting his former lover(s) at the bar, he should have clued her in beforehand.

        His parents soared to new heights in manipulative guilt trips. Alexei traveled several thousand miles to adjust a door lock and screw in a lightbulb. (So many inappropriate jokes here, but I will restrain myself.) Baby bro Artem is apparently useless. The entire family is SO dependent on Alexei, so lost without him to wipe their asses. They’re sick and depressed and lazy as hell. Hope Loren stands strong and drags him back to the U.S.

        • MrSmith

          You could be right about him having previously been involved with Polina. I hadn’t stopped to consider that. And you’re right that he should have defended Loren. After all, it was *his* choice to ask Loren to marry him and *his* choice to move to America.

          My wife and I also couldn’t/can’t understand why his parents aren’t starting to rely on the younger brother. We can understand that they miss Alexei, but Artem should be (and should be able to) step up and pick up some of the slack.

          As for him returning to America, I can’t see how he can avoid it. He’s got a conditional green card, which means he can only leave the US with permission and only for the time frame specified. If he stays away longer than that, he’ll lose his green card *forever*. We learned that when Noon and Kyle went to talk to the attorney about returning to Thailand. It’ll be interesting to see what happens between that couple and what they decide to do about her father being ill and her desire to return to Thailand for an extended period.

          • CoachWristletJen

            It seems to me like they could live there for five months, return to the States for a few months and then go back to Thailand for a few months again or even indefinitely. Kyle can pretty much pick up and work anywhere. Noon is not making a smart decision.

          • MrSmith

            It doesn’t sound like it’s a simple process to get approved for time outside the US while you’re still here on a conditional green card. I would expect there are restrictions on how much time you can spend outside the US in a calendar year, too, and probably restrictions on how many times you can leave the US while on a conditional green card. I don’t know, of course, as I’m not married to a foreigner. I could ask my sister-in-law and her husband, since he’s from Mexico. We’ll see if I remember this when I get home…

        • CoachWristletJen

          Yes, I think that’s quite possible that they were an item. And, he definitely should have defended her, although she did quite a good job of standing up for herself! And, Polina couldn’t even begin to compete with her in the looks department. He’s made his choice, Polina! Time to move on! Loren definitely will have the last laugh because she comes off as far more sympathetic than they do on the show. Well, it’s not difficult to look more sympathetic than catty bitches.

        • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

          I doubt Loren knew or she would have given her a mouthful of shut the hell up and back off sexy Alexei.

          • Happy

            Agree with you that Loren didn’t know. She is no shrinking violet.

    • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

      I agree completely. You could tell by the way they looked at each other they had something going on at one point. They are one of my favorite couples on this show – and Kyle and Noon bc they seem to genuinely love each other.

  • CoachWristletJen

    Okay, one more thing and then I’ll stop because I know way too much about these people already! I’m wondering how instrumental TLC was in the “ambush”? I think it would be in the show’s best interest to keep Mohamed in the United States! They may have paid for Dani’s attorney, but I’ll bet they only paid for one (1) visit for the purposes of the scene. And, I also think there would be some producing involved in making sure that the annulment got pulled without a hitch? Dani might have needed some coaxing to get into the car. Then she might have needed some coaxing to get out of the car. Tom and Mo might have needed coaching on the best way to present things in order to get the best results. The whole thing would have gathered momentum making it more and more difficult for Danielle to change her mind, and, again, the last thing they wanted was immigration carting off one of their favorite reality stars. Who knows? They might have even hired Mo an attorney who is working behind the scenes for him now. It would certainly be money well spent for them if they did! In fact, looking at it strictly from a production standpoint, they’re fools if they don’t!

    • MrSmith

      This cracks me up, but it seems like it’s probably mostly true, too.

  • MrSmith

    Nah. Seeing how poorly she dresses is part of the fun. Liposuction would diminish the fun. And you don’t want that now, DO YOU? 😀

    • Happy

      Thanks for talking me off the ledge. Although my barf bag supply is dwindling and my eyes and fashion sense both hurt, I will bravely carry on (sob). SO MUCH FUN!

      • Kathy

        Luckily I work in a hospital, so my barf bag supply is unlimited!

  • Happy

    Quite possibly, the show’s ENTIRE viewership (me included) retched simultaneously.

    Ankle-length, long-sleeve muu-muus might be her fashion fix.

  • MrSmith

    I think the suggestion that his parents move here isn’t a bad one. It’s just there’s no way they will do this. They’re Israeli and that’s their home. It’s just the same for most other people, no matter where they’re from. Also, if his father has health problems, they’re probably better off staying in Israel because they wouldn’t have enough money here to ameliorate them, and that would just lead to his death at a younger age than is likely in Israel.

    As for Alexei doing things for his family, I think it’s great they’ve got a close enough relationship that he feels responsibility for doing things for them. Yes, they are using guilt to try to make him stay in Israel, but him making sure they’re taken care of is just being a good son. Also, there may be cultural differences that are in play here of which we are unaware.

    When it comes to his brother being depressed, they’ve obviously got a very close relationship. And that’s one of the problems with living such a distance from relatives: Daily life takes over and you don’t keep in touch as often as you would like to. This is partly what happened with his friends. At the same time, there’s not enough time in the day to keep in touch with 60-odd friends in Israel, even spreading them out across the course of a couple of weeks. At some point, he’d get tired of telling everyone the same things over and over, and he’d also end up hearing about the same things from multiple friends.

    And my wife and I watch most things together. Some stuff, like her veterinary and hospital shows (Dr. Pol), there’s no way I could sit through, while other stuff I’m just not interested in, such as Tanked. Then there’s Sister Wives, which I don’t have the patience to watch but like to get updates on what’s going on.

    • CoachWristletJen

      After his dad recovers from surgery, it would certainly be great for his brother to come visit and spend an extended amount of time with them, maybe even a month or two. He could even perhaps get a temporary job while he was here, working under the table or whatever. Then he could go back home to the parents again. It might improve his mood, anyway, and give him something to look forward to.

  • Sebastian Cole

    Beth, I loved reading your sassy article. Shit is just too funny. On a serious note: why has immigration not done something about Mohammed. Clearly, he used Danielle to get his green card. All immigration has to do is place their photos side-by-side or watch them exchange wedding vows. Ramadan? Really. You can’t show affection? As Mohammed was saying his ‘vows’ he couldn’t even look at Danielle, choosing to lock eyes with the pastor. It’s so sad that he’s living freely in the United States and yet has no respect for American culture or American women. He needs to go. They need to make an example out of him. He’s a piece of shit. Danielle is just as sad. She still uses his name.

    • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

      I agree 100%. And this is his good behavior bc he’s on camera. I hope the blond chick unleashes her info on him. I want to know who he “really is”.

  • Sebastian Cole

    Walmart Tom and that crotchety lawyer (white man in brown suit sporting the Bee-gees hairstyle) are reality TV gold. You can’t make this shit up. I think that Mohammed believed that Walmart was the place to be, the equivalent of Rodeo Drive in Los Angeles.

    • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

      If you’ve ever been to a north African souk you would understand this.

  • CoachWristletJen

    I said this before but with that bright yellow shirt I thought she looked like a lemon with legs. Very appropriate for Florida.

  • CoachWristletJen

    I know, right? I can get mine to watch it sometimes. And he gets an earful about their antics from me, of course! The other night he walked by the TV and started laughing when Mo was asking Danielle in so many words, “Why were you quiet for 10 minutes like that? Why are you so crazy?” It wasn’t good P.R. for him to be ragging on her in front of the cameras, but I think she was so irritating that he could no longer contain himself.

    • Happy

      My husband gets the “bring me a razor to slit my wrists” look when I mention the show. In all fairness, I give him that identical look when he pontificates on politics.

      I don’t mind Mo telling it like it is. She wants to be babied and pitied, and he is the only one brave and disgusted enough to cut through her B.S.

      • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

        My bf can’t stand it either. I think it’s hilarious. I can’t believe there are the many fools out there. Amazing. These shows are my break from politics which is about as dramatic.

  • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

    Maybe she could go on one of those weight loss shows like Fat Chance to try to win Mo back. lol.

    I noticed she brought new clothes for her Miami trip and seems to have tried to do something with her hair – but her nails looked horrible! half done and raggedy. I mean, if you’re trying to make an impression on a man wouldn’t you at least paint your nails or even cut them and buff them? No matter how fat she is she could keep her hands decent looking! It was making me crazy that whole episode. She could even get a cheap $2 Sinful polish at the drug store. Anything.

    • Happy

      Those jungle nails, yessss — do something with them!

      Fat Chance lol!!

  • DeplorableFullMetalSquirrel

    I am praying we don’t have to see her in that new bathing suit she bought.

    • Kathy

      Maybe they will blur her from the neck down like they did Anfisa’s butt.

  • Sebastian Cole

    There’s a petition floating around, demanding that Mohammed be deported. He really is making a mockery out of American Immigration and has no respect for Americans and our women.

  • Snoozer

    Mo has a new TouTube channel! He is going to post videos that”explain everything” once the show is over and his TLC contract is up. Seriously. You can’t make this stuff up! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d1d50bff12d87b0e05a239512d8e0c46d9b12770dc72dfc0fb08be9991b10c91.png

    • Miz piggy

      Seriously kids the big “D” filled an annulment to get Maw-haw -meds attention and it worked so says her . In other words she’s a stalker who knew?
      Not for the purpose of deportation but to fuck with him. She says so herself look back at the footage. She is also a serial thief those people she stiffed for rent were owed rightful monies and it’s not like she was physically disabled and couldn’t work. She has a criminal history a mile long . Meanwhile She vacays to Qatar, Pakistan and Miami all within the space of 2 years Pakistan the jewel of the Middle East … not…… on another would be cock chasing expedition with her buddy Beth? What happened to roller boy? That made her feel like a woman? Is she a cock chaser? Get a vibrator Dani batteries are cheaper . Then chasing young boys the age of your children. I agree she looked like a lemon with legs . I don’t feel sorry for her one bit I remember the days of her buddy Maria calling commenters families with verbal abuse even the wrong people because she was such a good detective involving some poor Er nurse in a Midwest city all with Dani approval and consideration. . This Dani crazy train has more twists and turns than the movie with the crazy keyboard playing nutso that disposed people in the trash . She is a manipulator extraordinaire in my view . In a way they are both deservant of one another .

      • CoachWristletJen

        If there’s one thing Mo seems to enjoy doing, it’s giving lifestyle advice. Seriously. After about 2 minutes I’m asleep though.

        Meanwhile Dani has proven herself to be a stalker extraordinaire. She’s down there to work on the marriage. I know Mo told her they might be friends because those were the English words in the right order that clicked and made her do what he wanted. She chose to take it as an open invitation.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a85025336d76305b5be925a2350bb66e9da0ffabdaed82c13532658ac0afd359.jpg

        • abby

          LOL!

  • DolceAndMohammed

    I’m with everyone on the “Tom sucks” train. I actually do therapy, and what he did was not (but then again, I’ve never been near Sandusky and it looks like they operate differently there)

    I think Mo should get deported simply because he came here on something clearly fradulent, but in the back of my mind I’m still hoping Paul Dolce, Esq. will assist with divorce procedures… a girl can dream right?

  • Cheri Boney

    Really you all! Mo probably planned this whole thing just to stay in the USA from the beginning. Why should he defraud her and all other citizens, regardless of her immature behavior (remember those obsessive teenage years?).