Slow News Day

Basking In The Trivial

This 34-year Old Pretended To Be 15. Why, Charity? Why?

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According to the Dallas News, a 34-year old in Longview, Texas told a high school she was 15 years old, got someone to corroborate this story as a “guardian”, and acted “respectful”, getting good grades and being ON IT in terms of homework.

Photo created by ABC News from Charity's Facebook Page and mugshot.

Photo created by ABC News from Charity’s Facebook Page and mugshot.

Charity Johnson convinced her McDonald’s co-worker Tamika Lincoln that she had no place else to stay and her family was dead. Tamika told ABC News, ““She acted like a kid. She did her homework. She got good report cards…” When Tamika got suspicious of Charity, she called the cops whereupon they discovered she’d convinced some high school, in addition to Tamika and numerous others, that she was 15.

It would appear, however, that on her McDonald’s application, Charity listed her birth year as Mc1979.

Is any of Tamika’s generosity influenced by “The Blind Side”? Because I’ll tell you, that movie makes me want to open up my home and wear that fabulous white watch while being no nonsense.

Charity was all about being 15, including maintaining a super fetch Instagram and Facebook account, posing for selfies, and trying to get into some teen after-school program, which eventually figured out that CHARITY WAS THIRTY FOUR YEARS OLD.

The New Life Christian School, which has 30+ students, costs $150 a month or whatever you can afford. Charity came up with $24 a month, which is pretty impressive for someone pretending to be 15. I mean, she is lying all over the place, and could get away with paying nothing, but instead, she’s like, “$24 is do-able. I’ll get it to you by the 5th.”

Charity is being charged with lying to police, but the real question is why the hell would anyone want to be 15 again? 15 sucks! And how could these EDUCATORS be fooled by a 15 year old in a school that is grades 1-12 with 30-something students. On average, there are 3 people in a class. THREE! Do any of them look like they might be a couple of decades away from menopause? Anyone look like they might have been born during the Carter Administration?

Charity is being held on $500 bond, which is a lot of money when you’re 15.

  • First you want to learn the mission of any charity you’re considering. If you have a specific charity in mind for the car donation do some research on it, especially if you’re not sure how reputable the charity is. There are many national and local charitable organizations that advertise in newspapers or on television and openly announce they are looking for car donations. You have probably seen some of these, but are they your best choice?