Late night television watching lends itself to witnessing some truly bizarre and wonderful commercials, aired in the middle of the night both because it’s cheap to buy air time, and because weird people who buy weird stuff are watching Forensic Files at 2am. (That would be me.)
Last night, my boyfriend and I found ourselves mesmerized by this:
Googling revealed that using a poop stool is a real thing, and our bodies were designed to poop squatting down in our cave dwellings, not sit on high faultin’ porcelain thrones. This “Squatty Potty” commercial has less poop-happy people jumping in the air, and more on the science of why you need a poop stool:
Conveniently, we have a little stool exactly the same size as these $24.95 poop stools. I got it at Ikea for $5 in the kids section. The dimensions appear to be literally exactly the same as the EasyGoPro. I just saved you $20, poopers!
I think you know where this is going. I tried the poop stool this morning. My boyfriend offered to take a photo. I declined. Right away, I excitedly claimed to notice a big difference, but BF pointed out that it’s probably placebo effect. Once he said that, the alternate placebo effect took control and I “evacuated” normally. The poop stool resulted in nothing special, unless you consider me pooping and talking about it on the internet special.
Related: this is a huge breakthrough for me to even admit that I use a bathroom for anything other than a skin care regimen. But SND is a place of trust and acceptance. I poop, you guys. Once a year. Will I be using a poop stool for my annual evacuation? Maybe, as we happen to have one anyway and some of these ads claim the use of the stool prevents colon cancer, which I do not want to get. What I refuse to comprehend, however, is why no one has utilized the name, “Stool Stool”? Or “Stool2x.” Doctors call poop stool! This is a pooping stool! The marketing opportunities are endless!
Would you use this? Do you already use this? And how is your poop doing?